Minyeshi
Category:Minyeshi Nation Information The Commonwealth of Minyeshi is an island nation whose population is fond of bling. Located in the Indian Ocean, it is a member of the Global Democratic Alliance. Geography The climate in Minyeshi is warm and humid, and its islands are covered in lush green forests. Rain is its key, albiet inadequate, source of fresh water. Minyeshi`s northern islands are the peaks of a submerged landmass and are rich in coal and fossil deposits. The center of the largest such islands boasts an expansive swampland with a vast cave system. Its southern islands are formed by volcanic activity and litered with buried treasure. Native fauna includes giant sea turtles, warm water penguins, monotremes, and zombies. Rabid giant otters, exploding catfish, and venomous frogmonkeys are also present, being a constant menace to tourists. Population Minyeshi's original population is believed to be descended from a mix of Indian Ocean peoples that settled in the islands prior to the destruction of Old Earth, combined with a rather mysterious group of local aborigines. Today, Minyeshi`s citizenry consists largely of anthropologists with a predilection for stone tools and atlatls. In the past, large numbers of fieldworkers were sent from abroad to study the Minyeshi; these field workers, after heavy drinking, intermarried with the locals and taught them the arcane ways of their discipline. Language The native language is called Watangu, but English, French, Hindi, Bengali, and Swahili are spoken by segments of the population, with silly accents. Religion Religious beliefs are strongly polytheistic, and Minyeshi`s gods are usually either fish-shaped, or have lots of arms. Several East Asian and Indian religions are also practiced on the island, and these foreign religions continually wax and wane in popularity, for reasons that are not entirely clear. Prominent local sects of note include a number of religious recluses inhabiting Minyeshi`s largest cave system, who revere a codex known as the Gospel According to Mr. Flibble. As these recluses are frequently smelly and eaten by otters, little research has been done into their beliefs and practices. Many Minyeshi also revere a deity made out of pasta and dress as freebooters. Minyeshi`s government claims that the nation has the highest number of phone-psychics per capita of any nation on planet Bob, despite having only six telephones. Food and Drink While ostensibly a neolithic agricultural society, the people of Minyeshi are lazy and dislike farming, and will accordingly eat whatever trading partners will send them. Accordingly, fish and beef curry are key staples, supplemented by chocolate and spices. For breakfast, a typical Minyeshi eats mostly acorns, and drinks ice coffee. The average Minyeshi receives one third of their daily calorie intake from ice coffee and is immune to caffeine. Cultural Notes Due to a warm climate and loose morals, most Minyeshi wear skimpy clothes, resembling a cross between Polynesian garb, and that of the ancient Aztecs. Minyeshi are fond of bright colors and jewelry, and in general can be quickly distracted by waving anything shiny. The local passtimes are flint-knapping, blimp-racing, and piracy. Its major sport is football, at which its people are hilariously inept. Their national soccer team is known as the Manly Martial Monotremes of Mwendala Minyeshi (or, M to the Fifth); it is unclear whether it has actually played a game against another country. Marriage can be polygamous, polyandrous, or both, with higher status Minyeshi tending to have more wives and/or husbands. The Minyeshi sometimes claim to be feminists, but no one believes them. History Minyeshi`s historians, when not jousting with postmodernists, divide the history of their island nation into several ages. These ages are the Spicy Age, the Golden Age, and the Rubber Age, which is the current epoch of Minyeshi history. Spicy Age Little is known of Minyeshi`s spicy age, but it was during this formative period that Minyeshi was first settled, and its culture was first developed. Footnotes from Chinese dynastic histories speak of a island nation blessed with pigs and spices, whose populace worshipped a legless penguin puppet. Golden Age The first period of Minyeshi`s history for which any real records exist is known as its golden age, for gold and gems were abundant. Despite this, the nation was still somehow poor and backward. The nation joined the League of Small Superpowers early, and quickly became an active member, especially in the field of journalism. Minyeshi served LOSS in the Third Great War against the Viridian Entente. Its military was poorly prepared for the conflict, lacking all but a token airforce, and was soundly defeated. With Mwendala bombed to rubble, Minyeshi remained in anarchy throughout the war. Following LOSS' surrender, a provisional democratic goverment was emplaced, and Minyeshi moved to pink with the rest of LOSS. Minyeshi's government was then eaten by lions, and the ensuing drunken revelry and inactivity is now known in Minyeshi as the Lobster Dance Incident. Minyeshi then abandoned most of its official positions without forewarning, and effectively disappeared from the face of Planet Bob. Following the Lobster Dance Incident, Minyeshi cautiously returned to the affairs of LOSS and Planet Bob, before again disappearing without warning. Some fringe groups claim that the archipelago sank and resurfaced, but Minyeshi`s government attributes this to a Zombie invasion. Rubber Age After reappearance, Minyeshi`s leaders were bribed into joining the Global Democratic Alliance, where they have resided ever since. Government While recorded as a monarchy, Minyeshi's government is better described as a chiefdom, or Big (Wo)Man system. Lines of succession are not usually hereditary, and a semi-elected advisory council holds significant administrative power. Upon ascending to power all rulers of Minyeshi are given the name "Yawambe", meaning "Smeghead." Minyeshi`s leaders spend most of their time begging for, and subsequently squandering foreign aid. They are known to use puppies for this purpose, hoping to make their nation appear cute. Economy Minyeshi`s mostly neolithic economy is built around coal mining and rubber plantations, aided by pineapple farming, coffee growing, and knitting. Aside from its more prosaic exports, Minyeshi has a number of unique trade goods. Prominent among these exports are Bombshell Donkeys, essentially, statues of Donkeys originally constructed out of bomb fragments and glue. Said fragments were donated by the Viridian Entente. Following the Lobster Dance Incident, Bombshell Lions were been produced en masse. As Minyeshi hasn`t been bombed in ages, contemporary bombshell animals are instead made from coconut shells. Famous local foodstuffs include Tequilla-Flavored Ice Cream, known for getting its population periodically intoxicated. Despite its island status, this Minyeshi does not have a large amount of fish to export. However, exploding catfish, are occassionally exported as a tasty, yet dangerous delicacy. Military Minyeshi`s military is known as COMA (Commonwealth of Minyeshi Army). Aside from when it was utterly crushed during the Third Great War, COMA has had no wartime experience, and has thus devised most of its tactics from watching the movie “Zulu.” The standard infantry weapon is theoretically a local-built bolt action rifle, but due to budget cuts and extensive corruption, most soldiers are armed with assegais, and protected by loincloths. Officers wear scarlet uniforms and pith helmets, and are carefully trained to speak in upper-crust English accents. Its airforce is referred to as FLAMEBAIT (Flying Legions Around Minyeshi Ever-Boldly Assailing Ignorant Twits) and operates propellar driven fighters. Due to a cultural fascination with large, cylindrical objects, FLAMEBAIT also fields several armed blimps which are functionally equivalent to attack helicopters. A Minyeshi Navy also exists, operating twelve canoes and a single trireme. See also Minyeshi reemerges from　ocean